


As sun seeks day we will find our way

by PutTheKnifeDownElmo



Series: Sometimes surviving is only the beginning [3]
Category: Dreamcatcher (Korea Band)
Genre: 2hyeon underrated, 7 forever, Angst, Best gals, F/F, Forgiveness, Healthy convos, Not on my watch, Trauma, soft, sorry siyeon but I had to, suyoo - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-08
Updated: 2021-02-08
Packaged: 2021-03-13 08:20:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,924
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29275356
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PutTheKnifeDownElmo/pseuds/PutTheKnifeDownElmo
Summary: They’re not out of the woods yet, as tension rise between members putting their friendship to the test. Yoohyeon is torn between her loyalty and her guilt.The final part of “Sometimes surviving is only the beginning”.
Relationships: Kim Bora | SuA/Kim Yoohyeon, Kim Yoohyeon & Lee Gahyeon
Series: Sometimes surviving is only the beginning [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2127612
Comments: 4
Kudos: 31





	As sun seeks day we will find our way

**Author's Note:**

> This is by far the fic that took me the longest, but I wrote it because I didn’t like where I left the last one. As trauma is a lot more than just panic attacks, it can impact relationships too. This fic is looking into that aspect. 
> 
> I would recommend reading the prior two, or you’re gunna be a tad confused.
> 
> As always, comments/kudos is always appreciated makes me happy

Almost half a year had passed by now, and a lot had changed. The panic attacks had decreased significantly as she was no longer triggered by things in everyday life. Sure, Yoohyeon still had her moments but she was proud of her progress and so were her members. What they members didn’t know, with the exception of Bora, was that in place of the panic attacks she had begun to experience nightmares. It wasn’t every night, and she was used to operating on minimal sleep, so she didn’t bring it up.

Sometimes it felt like nothing had happened at all, those were the moments Yoohyeon cherished the most. Like when they were all sat around a table filled with far too much food, cheering whenever Siyeon successfully caught food in her mouth and laughing till their stomachs hurt when Bora inevitably failed to do the same. Or when Yubin was playfully grumbling at Yoohyeon for being so forgetful and clumsy, as Minji tried to wipe the food stains off the lead vocalist's clothes to no success.

Perhaps they were too naive thinking that the worst had passed, for there was still a long road ahead of them.

After several long discussions between the company and the members, it was decided that Yoohyeon was fit and ready to promote and so preparations were underway. She welcomed that sense of routine and normality with open arms, even if it meant long nights in the practice room until they were dripping with sweat and struggling to catch their breath. Anything to feel truly alive again.

On one late night, Yoohyeon had given the members a scare by accident. Because she literally couldn’t catch her breath and the room began to spin. It was too warm, almost suffocating, as she fell to her knees gasping for air. If that wasn’t enough, the now healed scar on her side stung painfully. Her past therapist had warned her of something like this, apparently it was a type of phantom pain that can be brought about in stressful situations.

She would be fine, she just needed a minute. Slowly but surely, her breathing steadied and the room came to a standstill. Bora gave her a helping hand once she was ready to stand up, while the other members had been panicking about what to do for the lead vocalist she had just stayed nearby as a comforting presence. Knowing that Yoohyeon would reach out for her if she needed it.

It was no secret that the two had become almost inseparable, in the past six months they had barely left each other's side for more than an hour. This became increasingly noticeable as all the members were in one place getting ready for promotions. They tried not to show it, but the increasing codependency began to worry the members. It couldn’t be healthy, but what could they do? Bora and Yoohyeon had no intent to change their ways, every time the topic was gently brought up it was immediately shot down, for they could never understand.

Minji tried her best to play peacemaker as always, trying to see both sides of the argument and come up with a peaceful resolution. Eventually, the leader convinced everyone to drop it for the moment. They were going to be together more anyway with the practicing, waiting rooms, preparations and so if it made the two comfortable what was the harm. Siyeon was more reluctant than the others to just give way, never the one to hide her feelings and emotions, but eventually came round.

Yoohyeon appreciated the thought, she really did, they were just trying to look out for her and yet sometimes she couldn’t help but wish that they’d stop. That they would have a little bit more faith in them both. Bora was much more passive about it, perhaps because she too was concerned for Yoohyeon but knew that it was best to let her do her thing and be there in case she fell. Just like now.

“Thanks” Yoohyeon murmured as she grasped Bora’s outstretched hand and pulled herself back up. Ignoring the concerned glances of the other members. Sure, she wasn’t back to 100% but they looked at her like she was going to break at any moment and she hated it. Yoohyeon wasn’t made of glass, she wasn’t going to break at the drop of a hat, she just had her times of vulnerability. But she knew it was coming from a place of love, so she stayed quiet.

“One more before going home?” the main dancer suggested to the group.

The youngest groaned loudly trying to alleviate the growing tension in the room. Unlike the other members, she was happy that Bora and Yoohyeon knew what was best for them and so stayed out of those kinds of discussions. Gahyeon would never forget the feeling in her stomach when she found out what had happened to her two dear members, the grief that clutched her heart as she thought the girl that had become her family wasn’t going to make it. So she was content that the two were just home, and safe.

By doing so, Gahyeon had created a sense of normalcy and support without even trying to and Yoohyeon couldn’t be more grateful. If she wasn’t by Bora’s side, the members knew she would be with the youngest.

A few moments of silence passed before Yubin spoke up, “Are you sure that’s a good idea?” as she not so subtly glanced in Yoohyeon’s direction. The day had been particularly tough on Yoohyeon, it was true, but she seemed determined to carry on at the same pace as everyone else.

“You up for it?” Minji asked, not wanting to assume either way. 

Yoohyeon nodded while wiping her forehead that was drenched in sweat, she could do this. She knew she could. As they went to move into their starting positions one last time, Bora gave her hand an encouraging squeeze before wiping it in mock disgust as she didn’t quite realise how sweaty the younger girls hands had become.

The music began to play again as once more the practice room was filled with laboured breathing and the squeaking sounds of trainers moving across the floor. Yoohyeon could feel her muscles ache in exertion, with her blood pumping loudly in her ears, but it was the good kind of exercise. She knew her limits. 

As the music drifted out and they held their ending positions, Yoohyeon felt a weight colliding into her back catching her off guard. Apparently they had all held their ending positions with the exception of Gahyeon, who chose to sprawl over the taller girl while whining about how tired she was. On that note, the rest started to pack up ready to go home while Yoohyeon failed to wrestle the youngest off her, claiming she was far too sweaty to be near her.

Eventually, the tall girl had been conned into giving the youngest a piggy back down to the car. Despite all her grumbling and complaining, it felt good to be treated the same by someone other than Bora. Yoohyeon relished in the youngest’s shrieks and giggles as she decided to run as fast as she could with Gahyeon on her back, clutching on for dear life. Both of them ignoring the oldest call after them about being careful.

They made it to the car in one piece by some miracle, the youngest jumped down from where she was previously wrapped around her but let her arms stay around Yoohyeon’s waist in a back hug. The two stayed like that, slowly swaying, as they waited for the others to catch up. Gahyeon’s fingers carefully traced around the scar that was being revealed thanks to her crop top.

“Does it still hurt?” Gahyeon asked in an uncharacteristically quiet voice.

“Not often”

The two stayed in a content silence after that, just enjoying each other's company. Soon enough they were joined by the others as they all clambered into the car. Instinctively Bora and Yoohyeon both made their way to the back so they could sit next to each other. Once they were all buckled in and the car began to move home bound, Yoohyeon leaned into Bora’s shoulder and closed her eyes.

“Have fun with Gahyeon?” Bora asked as she lazily moved her hand to the younger's hair, stroking through it comfortably. Yoohyeon merely hummed in response, too tired to form a proper reply. As her eyes were closed she missed the small smile tugging at the older’s lips.

“Go to sleep, I’ll wake you when we’re there”

It felt like only 5 minutes had passed when Yoohyeon felt a gentle tapping on her shoulder, Bora’s quiet voice letting her know it was time to wake up. Rubbing sleep from her eyes, she not so elegantly tumbled out of the car onto the pavement. It had been a while since she felt this tired. Deciding to return the favour, Yoohyeon attempted to jump on the youngest’s back declaring that it was only fair.

After resisting for a few moments, Gahyeon decided to humour the idea but fortunately for the younger girl it ended in disaster. There was no way that Gahyeon could carry her up to the dorm. Yoohyeon pouted at the discovery as she really didn’t want to climb all those stairs, until Bora tapped her on the arm.

“Hop on” Was all Bora needed to say before Yoohyeon jumped on with a gleeful smile. Minji could only shake her head at their antics but she couldn’t deny she was happy to see this side of Yoohyeon again. Sometimes it felt like only Bora was privy to it. She understood, she really did, but that doesn't mean it hurt any less.

Soon enough, they were all in their individual stages of getting ready for bed, saying their goodnight’s as they went into separate rooms. Yoohyeon had just finished brushing her teeth and was now climbing up the steps to her bed, as she’d failed to convince Bora to carry her all the way. 

Sometimes Yoohyeon found herself sleeping in Bora’s bed, wrapped in the others' safe arms. When that happened the younger girl rarely had a nightmare. But she didn’t want to bother her all the time, which is why she found herself lying in her own bed staring at the ceiling blankly. A few moments later, she heard Bora’s light footsteps making her way into their shared room. Her eyes took a minute to adjust as they were plunged into darkness.

It didn’t take long before Yoohyeon could hear Bora’s calm and steady breathing that lulled her into her own sleep, if she couldn’t be with the older girl, just hearing her presence was enough. Some nights it took hours to get to sleep, but the exhaustion of the day made sure that wasn’t a possibility as the tall girl was out like a light in a matter of minutes.

The next morning, Bora woke up first. They didn’t have anywhere to be until the afternoon so neither of the roommates had set an alarm, and so she rubbed her eyes in confusion when she saw that the time on her phone was only 6:45am. It didn’t take long to realise what had stirred her however, as she heard a muffled whining sound coming from the bed above.

Removing herself from her warm duvet, she left her bed and began to climb up the stairs to Yoohyeon’s. As she suspected, the younger girl was resting fitfully with her face scrunched up with fear, her whole body exuded tension. Reaching over, she gently tapped Yoohyeon’s foot that was sticking out of the blanket but it wasn’t enough to wake her.

“Yooh wake up” She tried again, tapping her harder. 

To her relief, Yoohyeon’s eyes opened with a soft groan. They darted around in panic as she seemed to take in her surroundings, only calming when they met Bora’s steady gaze and sympathetic smile to which she managed to return. Albeit weakly.

“What time is it?” The taller girl grumbled out.

“Before 7 still, do you want to go back to sleep?”

Yoohyeon just shook her head, even though the poor girl still looked tired. While she had managed to get around 6 hours of sleep, they hadn’t been restful in the slightest.

“Okay, let’s get you some breakfast then”

That seemed to perk the younger girl up as she clambered down to join Bora, letting the shorter girl take her by the hand and lead her into the kitchen. Of course it was empty, the other members were still slumbering peacefully and so the two tried to remain as quiet as possible.

While Bora pottered around making food for them both, Yoohyeon took a seat at the kitchen table and pulled out one of her english textbooks. It had been far too long since she had done any real studying as it turns out dealing with trauma was quite time consuming, so it was safe to say she’d got a little rusty.

It was a good feeling once she got back into the swing of it, a sense of reassurance flooded through her. She had always considered herself lucky to have a natural knack for languages but Yoohyeon couldn’t deny it was pressuring at times, and so the thought of having forgotten it all was daunting. Slowly but surely, it was coming back to her.

So absorbed in her book, Yoohyeon didn’t even register the delicious scent of pancakes that filled the room. The same couldn’t be said for the youngest who somehow sensed that there was food nearby, and emerged from her room far earlier than she would normally. 

“Can I have some?” She immediately shrieked out in a far too loud voice considering how early it was.

Bora smacked her hands away immediately, “Sit down with Yooh and I’ll think about it”.  
That was all Gahyeon needed as she bounded over with a huge smile, taking a seat next to the concentrating girl. In an effort to see what she was doing, Gahyeon rested her head on Yoohyeon’s shoulder and peered over.

“English?”

“Yup”

“Haven’t you mastered that already?” Gahyeon said, as she wrapped herself around Yoohyeon’s waist nuzzling her head into the olders shoulder.

“You know what they say, practice makes perfect”

Gahyeon groaned loudly before flopping backwards in her chair, rocking slightly.

“God you even sound like Bora now”

As soon as Bora heard her name, her head whipped round from where she was making pancakes. “You make that sound like it's a bad thing!”, her tone dripping with contempt making Yoohyeon laugh in a high pitch tone at the absurdity. Before a fight could break out, their trusty leader emerged from her own room while yawning.

“Hey! No fighting, it’s too early” Minji declared. Yoohyeon at least had the decency to look a little sheepish, but Gahyeon and Bora continued to glare at each other.

“Sorry, did we wake you?”

“I mean it’s literally the loud and louder duo, it would be hard not to wake me”

“You’re louder” could be heard from both Bora and Gahyeon simultaneously, before Gahyeon realised something.

“Hey but Yooh was here too, what about her?”

“We all know Yoohyeon can do no wrong” the leader said while patting the girl on the head. Bora nodded along as she couldn’t disagree, but the statement caused Gahyeon to whine even louder in protest. 

“You know what Bora, you were right”

“About what?”

“Gahyeon is louder”

After a more eventful morning than any of them were expecting, the four found themselves with a few hours to kill before needing to get ready for practice. Not wanting to leave each other's company just yet, they agreed to put on a film to watch together. But it didn’t take long for Yoohyeon to fall asleep on Gahyeon’s lap, the youngers fingers lightly running through her hair absentmindedly. 

Once Gahyeon was sure she was asleep, she turned to Bora with a concerned look on her face.

“Is she okay?” Gahyeon almost whispered. Bora took in the sight of Yoohyeon, it was a good question, it was obvious that the girl was both physically and mentally exhausted when the day hadn’t even begun yet.

“She’s okay, just a little tired. She didn’t sleep well last night”. That was enough for Gahyeon as she went back to stroking the taller girl's hair but Minji hummed in thought at the sentence, her features scrunched up in concentration.

“She’s fine, Minji” Bora said a little defensively, but the leader responded in kind, like she always did.

“I know”

It didn’t take long for the members to gather and their last day before promotions to start. The next two weeks went like a blur, but it seemed to be going well. Sure, there was the occasional mishap here and there. However these things were to be expected, and Minji was counting her blessings for the reasonable successes. Bora was supporting Yoohyeon and Yoohyeon was supporting Bora, the other members helping out where they could.

Of course, on the last day of promotions, everything went wrong. Yoohyeon had been doing so, so well all to throw it away at the last moment. That’s what she thought at least. They were waiting to go home from their last performance when Yoohyeon had fallen asleep on the youngest lap again.

She had tried to wait until they had gotten home and was in the security of her room with Bora, but the moment her head hit Gahyeon’s lap hearing the younger girl's soft humming she was out like a light. Perhaps it was the stress of the past few weeks, or the exhaustion catching up with her, or maybe it was a complete coincidence, but she found herself trapped in a nightmare like no other.

Yoohyeon could tell she was back in Singapore, with the weight of the world crashing around her and that familiar sense of panic rising up in her chest. But something was different, this wasn’t how she remembered it. It soon became clear to Yoohyeon as she looked down and saw Bora’s limp body bleeding out before her.

They had swapped places. Yoohyeon didn’t think the experience could have gotten any worse but this was something else, she could feel her heart breaking. Is this what Bora went through? Desperately she tried to help the older girl, screaming in effort as she failed to push the debris off her, nothing was working. Faintly she heard Bora spluttering beneath her, trying to say something but to no success.

Until she stopped, there was no more sound to be heard. Bora’s body went completely limp as her eyes stared dead ahead, completely blank. Yoohyeon refused to believe that she was gone, desperation taking over. She couldn’t think straight, it had not even crossed her mind that this may not be reality. 

But then Bora was gone. In fact everything was gone. She was ripped out of the hellish dream by Gahyeon who had been shaking her for the past minute or so to little success. Immediately Yoohyeon leapt off her lap to her feet, ignoring the youngest yelp of surprise.

“Where is she?” Yoohyeon practically shouted, breaking the peace of the waiting room. Soon enough the members were surrounding her, all except one.

“Who are you on about?” Minji asked as calmly as she could.

“Bora! Where is she?” her voice was getting more and more frantic the longer she couldn’t see her life line. Siyeon gave a huff of disbelief, not believing the situation. Enough was enough, she thought to herself. They had been instigating the younger girl for too long.

“You’re kidding me right? How clingy are you?”

“Siyeon, not now. Bora’s in the bathroom she’ll be back in a bit okay?” Minji tried to reassure, but that didn’t stop Yoohyeon’s frantic look or tense posture.

“What do you mean not now? Every time something like this happens we push it back, when are we actually going to address that there’s an issue?” Siyeon’s voice got louder and louder with each word, frustration bubbling out of her. It was lucky that only the members occupied the waiting room at this time.

“It is getting out of hand” Yubin said quietly from the sidelines, but Minji’s glare prevented her from saying more.

“It’s getting ridiculous more like” Siyeon added on and went to put her hand on Yoohyeon’s shoulder, not expecting the younger girl to jump backwards at the touch.

“Don’t touch me” Yoohyeon snarled out, taking everyone by surprise. 

Even Yubin looked a little intimidated, for in this moment Yoohyeon resembled an injured animal, ready to lash out at the slightest provocation. But as the tall girl jumped backwards, she collided into Gahyeon sending the younger girl to the floor. Landing on her wrist painfully, she let out a yelp of hurt.

“The hell is going on here?” Bora’s angry voice rang out, breaking the stunned silence. It was only when Yoohyeon laid eyes on her and knew that Bora was okay, that it was just a dream, that her sense came back to her. Finally noticing that the scared look in her members eyes, and that Gahyeon was on the floor in pain.

Oh god, she’d hurt Gahyeon. 

The revelation made Yoohyeon feel sick, she didn’t know what to say. Guilt also gnawed at her heart as she relished she had lashed out at Siyeon too, this wasn’t her. Yoohyeon was better than this, calmer than this.

Wordlessly, Yoohyeon picked her belongings and left the waiting room. Passing her manager on the way, she knew the car was ready to take them all home so as quickly as she could, she made her way over. Once she had arrived, Yoohyeon clambered into the far back seat and pulled her hood over her face not wanting to be seen in her state of weakness. 

It only took a few more minutes for the members to catch up to her, but her heart broke further at the sight of Handong’s had wrapped securely around the youngests waist. Lingering pain evident on Gahyeon’s face. Yoohyeon wanted to apologise, but now wasn’t the time.

As expected, Bora slid into the seat next to her and without saying anything joined their hands together. The comforting warmth of Bora’s hands was almost enough to chase the horrifying images from her nightmare out of her head, but not quite. Yoohyeon felt tears pricking at her eyes, it wasn’t fair. The whole situation wasn’t fair. But she held them in.

Before she knew it, the seven members were trudging up the stairs to their dorm. The only sound to be heard was the beeping of the code being put in. Once they were in the dorm, the silence was deafening to Yoohyeon. She couldn’t take the cautious glances the members were giving her, or the sight of Gahyeon lightly holding her wrist.

“I’m going for a walk” Yoohyeon said curtly, before spinning on her heel and exiting through the door she had only just come in through. The door shut before Yoohyeon could hear Bora’s exasperated voice call out

“Okay, would someone like to explain to me what the fuck is going on?”

It didn’t take long for Yoohyeon to regret her decision, it was dark and absolutely freezing. In her haste to leave she hadn’t brought a jacket with her. But she couldn’t go back, not now. Not until she had collected her thoughts. So Yoohyeon clenched her teeth and hugged her arms for warmth, and let her feet guide her.

Soon enough she arrived at a park not too far away. Yoohyeon almost smiled at the memory of them sneaking out just before debut to play at the park for a couple of hours just to release some of the stress. But thinking about her members only brought feelings of pain and guilt.

The park was eerily empty, not a soul insight except from Yoohyeon who trudged over towards the swings. Sitting on the cold metal seat, she used her long legs to sway her back and forth as she looked up towards the night sky with a sigh. There weren’t many stars to be seen, the light pollution was too strong, but the sight of the moon brought a sense of reassurance.

Using this moment alone, Yoohyeon began to reflect on the day. She thought she was getting better, she truly did, but if today’s events had proved anything to Yoohyeon it was that she didn’t know if she could get better. No matter how hard she tried, she couldn’t shake the events off. It was ridiculous. 

She was fine, Bora was fine, she had her members. Yoohyeon winced at the last thought, before contemplating if she really did have her members after today. After all, she hadn’t given them much reason to stay by her side. Even after all these years together.

Yoohyeon knew Bora wasn’t going anywhere, afterall she was the only one who truly understood, for better or for worse. Minji was much too kind and patient for her own good, even if Yoohyeon had murdered someone she still thinks that her leader would be by her side.

But it was obvious that Siyeon was at the end of her patience, and as much as she wanted to, she couldn’t blame the older girl. After that night in the practice room when Yoohyeon began to open up, Siyeon had expected positive change. But it felt like Yoohyeon had shut right back down after lowering her walls that little bit, only letting Bora in. 

Yoohyeon didn’t know where Handong and Yubin stood on the issue, in fact it felt like she hadn’t spoken to them, not properly anyway, in weeks. It was only now that she realised that she had been separating herself from them, not giving them a chance to help Yoohyeon. She supposed she hadn’t been a good friend, a good member, to them recently either. Yoohyeon wouldn’t blame them if they gave up on her, but her heart hurt dearly.

That left Gahyeon. Yoohyeon didn’t know what to think. The youngest had tried to be there in her own way, and it worked somewhat. She was the closest thing Yoohyeon had to regularity, a place without expectations. But she feared she had ruined it in an instant, it was Yoohyeon’s fault that she was hurt and she took full responsibility.

Taking one last glance at the moon, letting out a heavy sigh, her next move felt obvious. She refused to be a burden. Yoohyeon had tried, she really had, but this was best for everyone she tried to justify. As if the universe had felt her sorrow, it began to tip it down. It was like a storm had arrived out of nowhere, soaking Yoohyeon in an instant.

Icy wind chilled her to the bones, as her body trembled in the cold. Her T-shirt hung pathetically off her drenched body, there was no shelter in sight from the onslaught. Taking in a deep breath, she knew it was time to head home. Perhaps the members would be asleep by now, she hoped they would be, not ready to face them.

Quickly, Yoohyeon began to make her way back down the street homebound. The air was so cold that every breath seemed to burn her lungs and she could feel her hands losing colour, but she was so numb from the day that her brain barely registered it. Small blessings, she supposed.

Her converse sloshed with water as she made her way up the stairs, praying with every step that the dorm would be dark and the members would be asleep. But as she opened the door, she was in no such luck as she took in all the members faces. They were collectively sat in the living room looking concerned, but their heads shot up at the sound of the door opening.

Minji was by her side in an instant, “God you look freezing” she said as she took in Yoohyeon’s pitiful sight. The younger girl stayed put and mute, not wanting to get the dorm wet. It was Handong’s turn to fuss over her next, as she appeared with a towel that was delicately put around Yoohyeon’s shoulders. Using it to try and dry the girl off.

“You should go take a shower, stay like that any longer and you’ll catch a cold. I’ll go get some dry clothes for you”

Yoohyeon could only nod as she took off her shoes, before heading into the bathroom without saying a word. It didn’t take long for her to emerge again, wearing the clothes that Handong had helpfully supplied. The members had moved to sit around the kitchen table, a chair empty for her.

As much as she wanted to just go to bed and avoid the issue, Yoohyeon knew that wouldn’t help anyone. So reluctantly she took a seat, her shoulders still trembling slightly. The shower had helped, but she couldn’t quite shake off that lingering cold feeling. Siyeon and Yubin stood up at the same time, pushing their chairs backwards as they left the kitchen table.

Yoohyeon wondered if she’d read the room wrong, if they didn’t want her there at all. But that train of thought was quickly stopped in its tracks as Yubin came back a moment later with a big blanket, handing it over to the shaking girl.

She mumbled her thanks before wrapping it around herself, instantly provided with a sense of relief. It was still silent, and Yoohyeon was thinking of what to say but Minji beat her to it.

“I know today was hard” she started, choosing her words carefully “But please don’t do that again, don’t disappear on us”

Yoohyeon didn’t know what to say, Minji’s words resonating with her more than the older girl could ever know. She couldn’t promise that and then leave the group, so she was left with a choice. But before she could respond, Siyeon joined them at the table once more pushing a mug of hot chocolate in her direction. 

“I think I owe you an apology” Yoohyeon went to speak up, denying the statement, but Siyeon carried on. “Just hear me out okay? When you were on your walk, we talked a bit and I realised I wasn’t being fair to you, I shouldn’t have pushed you and I’m sorry for doing so”

Siyeon took a breath, considering her next words. “That being said… you have to stop shutting us out. It’s not healthy for either of you. So I’’ll be a more understanding, if you can work on that a bit”

This wasn’t the way Yoohyeon had expected the conversation to go and she didn’t know how to respond, but she did know that she still felt guilty.

“I still think I should be the one apologising, I shouldn’t have snapped at you, you were just trying to help” Her words got more and more mumbled as she found it hard to maintain her composure. She loved her members with all her heart, and arguing with them was hard.

“I was trying to help” Siyeon agreed, “But I wasn’t helping. Bora and Minji made me realise it’s an important distinction to make, so next time, I’ll do better. I promise”

Slowly the older girls' words seemed to sink in, Yoohyeon didn’t miss the unconditional love behind them. Perhaps she was wrong earlier, she hadn’t given Siyeon enough credit and that realisation made it easier to carry on. Made things seem possible. If she had underestimated Siyeon, maybe she had underestimated herself too.

“I think I should go back to that therapist” Yoohyeon said eventually, looking up at Minji for support. The leader nodded supportively, “I’ll contact our manager in the morning, she can set up another appointment”.

“I’m sorry I’m not as okay as I should be”

“Hey” Handong immediately stopped her, “There’s no should be, everything is at its own pace. We can’t rush these things”

“Perhaps that’s where we went wrong, we rushed into it” Yubin said thoughtfully, “After all, it only happened this year”

Things went quiet for a few moments, each member caught up in their own thoughts. Except from Minji, who was watching Yoohyeon’s brow furrow in concentration and so she decided to test the waters.

“What’s going on in your head?” Minji asked while poking the younger girls temple lightly. Knowing that she had promised to try and open up more, she collected her thoughts and shared them for the first time in a long time.

“It’s just that I’m torn. I don’t want to be a burden but I don’t want to leave, what should I do?” Yoohyeon looked up with teary eyes, meeting Bora’s soft gaze.

“Oh honey” Minji said while hugging her from the side warmly, “We don’t want a dreamcatcher without you”. The others quickly murmured in agreement, they would do this as seven no matter what.

“Promotions are over, we have time to think about it okay? But for now I think we all need some rest, it’s been a long day” Yubin said, noticing the time and the members' masked yawns. On that note, they began to stand up and head into their own rooms but Yoohyeon had one more thing she wanted to say.

“Gahyeon, can you um, stay for a minute? If that’s okay?”

“Of course” The younger agreed immediately while making room for the other’s to pass by her. As Bora passed by Yoohyeon, she gave her hand an encouraging squeeze and said that she would wait for her to finish.

Once it was the two of them alone in the kitchen, the taller girl took a heavy breath. “I wanted to apologise, because of me you got hurt and that’s not okay. I’m really sorry”, Her voice cracked heavily on the last word conveying the heavy guilt she was feeling to the youngest. 

“Oh Yooh, it was an accident! These things happen, no need to apologise. Besides, it already doesn’t hurt any more” Gahyeon tried to reassure, not wanting to put any more pressure on the older girl.

“But-”

“No more apologising! Come here” Just like that Yoohyeon found herself wrapped in Gahyeon’s embrace, the two fitting together perfectly as she rested her chin on the younger's head. They stayed like that for a while, swaying slightly, and enjoying each other's company. Only to part when Gahyeon yawned loudly, not able to hide how tired she was.

“Go to bed, I’ll see you tomorrow”

Just like that the two parted ways, and Yoohyeon went into her own room to see Bora sat up on her bed. She took a seat next to her, resting her head on the olders shoulder not caring about the awkward height difference.

“Are you okay?” 

Usually Yoohyeon hated that question, people never asked for the right reasons. But coming from Bora it was different, she could be honest.

“I’m not sure, do you think things will ever be like they were before?”

Bora answered immediately, it was clear this question had weighed on her mind as frequently as it had on Yoohyeons.

“We aren’t the same as before, and we never will be, not really. But that doesn’t mean we can’t get better, that things won't get easier. As long as we’re together, we’ll be okay”

Yoohyeon interlaced their hands gently.

“Together”

**Author's Note:**

> my bad Siyeon someone had to. But I hope this is a satisfactory end, I feel better about it now.


End file.
